From a teacher’s perspective this is one of the most unique and most satisfying things to watch somebody find and melt into. When somebody’s diving into their past whether that’s dealing with some inner child work or some direct things that have happened with their own family, they end up finding a group of like-minded individuals that they can lean on, trust, and share stories with. It becomes a very empowering moment in that person’s life to look at “Family” outside of their own blood line and really make the choice on who they choose to surround themselves with. 

I cannot emphasize this point enough on how important this is both mechanically and my belief level in having yourself surrounded by a community. Even though nowadays society teaches us not to do such things, don’t talk about this or that, don’t create discord around you and certainly don’t talk about anything that may or may be controversial. It reminds me of a funny story one day when I walked into chapters, and I asked them where the self-help section would be. The person then winked at me and said if I told you, it would be a bit counterproductive. Now we can all laugh at this and have a little bit of fun with it of course but I think there’s a certain stigma out there when it comes to self-work or self-love, where it is traditionally done in private and alone. I for one would like to change this! Self-work can be some of the most difficult work to face on your own. Any idea of needing support or needing a soft place to land should be a go to statement for everyone in my opinion. If you feel like you don’t currently have a soul family, find one! Try to get out of your comfort zone and reach out and explore. 

Now this does not mean I want you to act foolish about this. I want you to explore within your comfort zone and what is comfortable for you to share with others. One of the first things I teach my students is the rule of protecting yourself first! It doesn’t mean that I don’t promote openness or vulnerability as a shield, because I do. However, this is only done by choice, not by knee jerk reaction and certainly not done in an out-of-control manor. It is done on purpose and when you and only you choose to be vulnerable or open. Defining those like-minded individuals means that you’re either going to have to get good at asking some probing questions to know if you are safe to open up around them or you’re going to allow your vulnerabilities to show in small doses that you are controlling and you are choosing. And yes, I did say that being open and being vulnerable is a shield and it is if you use it correctly and if it’s done by choice. It’s only when our choices are removed from these two things that it becomes a detriment. 

Now the other important thing to note is that you may need some families more like seasons, especially if you’re going through a Spiritual Awakening or an Awakening process. The family that you needed in the beginning is not necessarily the family you need in the end, so be open to the possibility of change and addressing who you’re choosing to have around you. There may be a time that you may outgrow one family and would need to address or choose a new one. This too is okay, now this may trigger inside of you the feeling of not wanting to send somebody away or hurting somebody’s feelings. However, when you’re in a healthy space with people that are both supportive of you and you are supportive of them the logical assumption is that if somebody that you love has something that you can’t provide them, you would hope that they would look for what they need. If we can address the simple fact of how we would love somebody else, then it must be okay that we could have that same expectation ourselves if we outgrow the people that we are currently with, then we may have to look elsewhere or at the very least add to the family.